Yes I crave for attention
Because I know how slippery a rope it can be!
I strive for perfection,
An unattainable feat!
I want you to know me,
If nothing else, just recognise me
With the mask that I wear.
Don’t you see how much I change
For each and every one of you
A lump of clay, to be moulded
As per your wish
For this a small payment I ask
A hungry artist , this humble self
Just demands to be heard,
Or stared at, long enough to be counted
As more than a passing glimpse
Day in and day out
Watching as the hours bleed into days,
Some days it’s by the window frame
Watching the sun rise and set
Marking yet another day.
On days where I feel brave
I switch on the internet…
But most days I spend
Trying to forget about you…
What’s done can never be undone,
And there remains a little solace in that.
But any-time now, you’ll be here-
A phantom lover, a thousand possibilities
Of what could have been ;
Indeed a tragic heartbreak this!
Yet there still remains that fragment of hope
Even so, as I pen down these words,
You fill me with dread!
My dearest daughter,
Long ago there was a girl, on the cusp of adulthood, old by age and yet child at heart
And she penned down these very words, at which I feel you must at least glance,
Let me die
doing what I do best!
Let me love with a passion,
daring enough that it can set me ablaze,
It is one life, let me brave enough
To truly LIVE!
A life not without regrets , instead
A life I wouldn’t regret living again.
Deny me success,
If it is at the cost of my happiness,
Let me forever feel incomplete –
Just a tiny bit –
So that I strive to quench
that eternal thirst – again and again !
Indeed, just deny me
A life of synchronised monotony.
When the sailor drowns at sea,
Surely he tries to escape,
And as the water drowns his screams –
Arms thrash against the lovers embrace.
And yet! At that instant when
limbs grow too tired to resist
His one true love’s claim of him
He knows, there could have been,
No better way to go!
Had he not denied fate,
An accountant would he have been,
And having met a different demise,
His last words would have been,
“If only ..”
Even if my last breaths are
Of absolute agony,-
Let me Live a life
I’d wish I could relive again !
And before I forget, the girl is me and I found this sheet 60 years too late !